Into Thin Air Read online

  I jolt when someone raps on the door. My hand holding the curtain almost yanks it off the rod. “What the hell!” I bark. I already know it’s Gale. He’ll only leave me alone for so long. Someone must have left the entrance door propped open again, since he didn’t ring the doorbell for me to buzz him in.

  “Ellie, I know you’re in there. If I have to kick this damn door in, I will.”

  He probably would. He’s so protective of me.

  I drag myself to the door and open it slowly so he can walk in. “Hey,” I mumble.

  Gale embraces me with his big bear arms. “Why haven’t you returned my calls? It’s not like you.” He pulls away from me and waves his hand in front of his nose. “Wow! You stink! When’s the last time you took a shower?”

  “Jeez. Thanks for your honesty. I love you too.” I slam the door shut.

  He trails behind me as I walk into the kitchen.

  I turn to face him. “I’m a mess, Gale.”

  “It’s okay to be a mess after what you went through. It’ll take time.”

  “How much time? Do you know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out?” I pound on my chest. “Do you know what it feels like to find your soul mate and have him disappear into thin air like it never happened, but you know in your shattered heart it did?” My lip quivers. “And then that person shows up at your office, but it’s not really him?”

  I’m so sick of crying.

  “Hold it. Time out.” Gale motions with his hands. “Who showed up at your office?”

  I blow my nose into a dishtowel, then throw it in the sink. “I’ve remembered a lot since I saw you last. I’ve been trying to process it all.”

  He loops his arm through mine and leads me to a kitchen chair. “Sit down, Ellie.” I drop down onto it. Ow! Stupid boney ass.

  He sits in the chair across from me. “Who showed up at your office?”

  “The guy in my dream. Sam.”

  He crosses his arms in disbelief. “You saw him in the flesh?” Doubt oozes from his tone.

  I clench my jaw and splay my hands on the table.

  He lifts his hands in peace. “Sorry,” he says. “Go on.”

  “Do you know the soccer player, Samuel Moore?”

  “Hell yeah. He’s one of the best soccer players in the country. If not the best. Rumor has it he’s been walking around Seattle University the last couple of days.”

  I remain quiet until his lightbulb turns on.

  His eyebrows shoot up. “Don’t tell me Sam is Samuel Moore? Come on, Ellie. I know he’s every woman’s dream… No pun intended, but—”

  “When I saw him at the office, I fainted because I couldn’t believe my Sam was standing in front of me. Alive. It was all too much for me. He recognized me too.”

  “But how could he if it was only a dream?”

  “As I said, I remembered some stuff. I met him at the airport. He’s the last person I spoke to right before the explosion.”

  “Did you say anything to him before you fainted?”

  “Yeah. You’re alive. Then I was down like a sack of potatoes.”

  “What did he say when you woke up?”

  “He left before I came to. This is where the story gets good and weird. Remember my trip to LA? I had a meeting with a woman named Carlotta Weis. Her daughter, Jenny, was there too.”

  He nods.

  “Turns out Jenny is Sam’s girlfriend. Can you believe it? She’s a platinum blond witch with big boobs and fire-red lipstick. My complete opposite. And her mother’s worse. How could he date someone like her? I’m so fucking jealous and pissed off.

  “But I have no right to be because he isn’t mine. He never was. I don’t know him any better than a stranger on the street. It’s such a crippling blow to my heart… and damn confusing.”

  My throat is dry from talking too much. I need water or lemonade. I bought a ton of lemons on Friday. I tried to recreate the lemonade Sam made before he put the vodka in it, but I couldn’t get it to come out the same. Maybe I should add vodka.

  “Do you want a drink? I made some fresh lemonade.” I walk over to the cabinet and take out a glass.

  “No, I’m good for now. But Ellie, just because he’s dating someone like her doesn’t make him a bad person. He does seem to be a typical bachelor, though. And he acts like he’s God. But look at you—Cooper’s an asshole, and you’re not.”

  I look over my shoulder while I fill my glass with water from the faucet. Lemonade doesn’t sound so good anymore.

  “How can you defend Sam?” I growl. “You don’t even know him.”

  “And neither do you.”

  I open my mouth to snap at him, but my glass slips from my fingers. Somehow, I manage to catch it before it falls into the sink. Water goes everywhere.

  I shake my hands to dry them off a bit and wipe the counter with some paper towels. “All those famous sporty type guys are all the same—hooking up with bimbos who only want publicity and money.”

  “How do you know? You don’t watch sports. You really need to get another job. Your exposure to entertainment law is distorting your image of people. Not all high-profile people or people who want to become famous are assholes.”

  “Well, I did some snooping around. I checked them out on social media. His sites look like they’re run by somebody else. That’s typical. But you should see her Instagram page. It’s pictures of them and her cleavage. They look like a happy couple, but the last picture of them was dated weeks ago.” I want them to be miserable. I want them to feel the pain that I’m struggling with right now. This gut-wrenching pain is eating me alive.

  “I also saw pictures and articles about him and past girlfriends. The ‘most eligible’ bachelor. Ha! Why would he look at me if he’s into those women?”

  Gale pushes away from the table. “Ellie, I know you hate it when I say this, but you need to wake the hell up. You’re starting to sound like a sick stalker and a man hater.”

  I turn away from him and open the refrigerator. I don’t want anything to eat, but I can’t look him in the face right now.

  “I know I do. The more I stay in this apartment, the worse I get. I keep analyzing everything from every angle. That’s what I do for my job. But I didn’t tell you other things that I figured out. Things about my dream.” Glass bottles clang together when I close the refrigerator door. “Let’s go sit in the living room. I have something to show you.”

  Minutes or maybe hours go by as I show Gale the hotel brochure that I taped back together. I know it’s not the real resort, but it’s the closest thing to it. I show him the list of all the connections to my dream too. I don’t have the willpower to throw any of this out.

  He presses his temples. “That’s some crazy shit. I’ve heard of weird dreams, but this is really out there. But I’m glad you’ve finally accepted that’s what this is—an incredibly vivid dream. As the days go by, I think you’ll start to feel better. Maybe the distraction of work will help. I know you hate it there, but you know what I mean. It’ll keep your mind off these things.”

  “Not if I have to deal with Carlotta and Jenny. I’m hoping they won’t come back to the office. Most things can be done electronically at this point. And LA? I don’t even want to think about getting on another plane. I’d rather quit my job. But, Gale. What if he comes back to the office? What do I do then?”

  “Why would he go back there? And so what if he does? Treat him like he’s a stranger and act like your hard-ass lawyer self. You’re not the type to be star struck or to be afraid of anyone. He’s not the same person you dreamed about. Repeat that to yourself when or if you see him again.”

  Easier said than done.

  Gale sighs. “Anyway, can we change the subject now?”

  My stomach growls. “Sure, if we can order Chinese food first,” I say with a genuine smile. My facial muscles don’t know what to do with this movement. I haven’t smiled in days.

  I scour my takeout drawer in the kitchen to find a menu from m
y favorite place and bring it to Gale. “It’s my treat since you’ve been listening to my problems for hours.”

  “Give me the phone. I’ll order for us. Then you’re going to tell me what happened with you and Cooper.”

  I throw my head back in exasperation. “Ugh. Do we really have to talk about him? I haven’t heard from him since the day the doctor kicked him out of the hospital. I’m hoping he’s forgotten about me. He acted like we were in a serious relationship and that I never broke up with him. I couldn’t believe he was in the hospital room when I woke up.”

  I hand Gale the phone and go back to the kitchen to get us drinks and dishes. My chest is a little bit lighter now. It felt good to tell him everything. I’ve been holding so much in that I was going to burst. I’ve actually contemplated calling the psychologist Dr. Levy recommended in case I needed to talk to someone. My situation has to be unique. I don’t think it’s a common thing to fall in love with someone in a dream. I might as well marry a ghost.

  I did start writing the book about us as soon as I got home after I saw Sam. I’m not going to tell anyone about that, at least not for now. Not even Mom or Gale. I don’t want to hear any negative comments. This is something I have to do for myself. I want to remember everything, whether it’s published or not. I need to remember it.

  I walk back into the living room and place the dishes and lemonade on the table. “How long of a wait?”

  “The guy said thirty minutes.”

  I stomp my foot. “Seriously? I’m starving.” I collapse on the couch.

  He pours himself some lemonade. “Where’s the glass lamp you had on that end table?”

  “I broke it when I came home from the hospital. I took my anger out on a bunch of umbrellas.”

  “That’s one way to do it. Of course, you could join a gym next time or get a punching bag.” He sips the lemonade, then nods his head. “Not bad. This is homemade?”

  “Yes. Sam and I made lemonade one day, so I thought I’d give it a try.”

  He looks away from me and sets his glass on a coaster. “So.” He rubs his hands together, obviously ignoring what I just said. “About Cooper. What did the asshole do?”

  I reposition myself and sit on my feet. “Remember that awards ceremony he took me to two or three weeks ago? It was at the Seattle Film Institute.”

  “Yeah.”

  “There was a party afterward. I didn’t want to go, but he talked me into it. I said I’d stay for a little while. Eventually, I couldn’t find Cooper anywhere. I searched around and found a bathroom. I opened the door, and there he was, fucking some brunette on the bathroom counter. And next to them were lines of cocaine on a silver tray. Some of them were gone. Thank God I never slept with him.” I shiver just thinking about it.

  Gale’s jaw is rock solid right now. “I’m going to fucking kill him. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.”

  I nudge his arm. “Relax. If I could’ve killed him, he’d be dead right now.”

  “Did he notice you?”

  “Oh yeah. Just as he was about to reach the big finale, he looked in the mirror. You can imagine his face when he saw me in the reflection. Oh, and her face too.”

  “What did you do? Or what did he do?”

  “I left the party and took a taxi home. I ignored his calls for a couple of days. He showed up at my apartment one night, and I went off on him. Now I’m going to tell you some stuff that’ll make you even more pissed off, so stay calm.”

  He cracks his knuckles. “Fine, but I can’t promise anything if I see him somewhere.”

  “One day I thought I had two hundred dollars in my wallet. I went to pay for a pair of shoes for this award ceremony, and the money was gone. I was baffled and went home and checked my bank account. The withdrawal was there, and I hadn’t bought anything, so I assumed someone from the office must have stolen it or it fell out of my wallet.

  “When I told Cooper about it, he became agitated in a way I never saw him before. He quickly said he didn’t steal it, even though I hadn’t questioned if he did. After this happened, Cooper changed. One second, he was insecure and twitchy, and the next, he was a happy camper. I couldn’t keep up with his mood swings. I noticed he lost some weight too, and his nose was always running. Most people would think he was sick.”

  “So, once you saw the coke, you put two and two together. He stole your money for drugs.”

  I snap my fingers. “Bingo.”

  Gale springs from the couch and paces around the living room. “Can I go kill him now? There was always something about him I didn’t like, but now I fucking hate him. He better not come near you again.”

  “Just come and sit back down.” I pat the sofa, but he stays standing.

  “After I went off on him here, he called me nonstop and even came to the office. I had to tell Dora at reception not to let him in anymore. Then two nights before I flew to LA, he showed up here again at the apartment, begging for my forgiveness. I don’t understand his fascination with me when we weren’t anything special. I asked him about the money. He denied it, but I know he’s lying.

  “When I said I wanted nothing to do with him anymore, he completely freaked. I was scared, Gale. I thought he was going to hit me or break something in my apartment. I grabbed my phone and threatened to call the police. That caught his attention. He was out of here like a bat out of hell. He probably had drugs in his pocket. The next day I bought some pepper spray.”

  He runs his hands through his hair. “What were you thinking, dating someone like him? And how are you so relaxed about this? Maybe you should take some self-defense classes. You always said you didn’t want to date people from Hollywood. He was as fake as they come.”

  “He wasn’t like that in the beginning.”

  “What, for like five seconds?”

  “Would you let me finish? We had fun for a little while, but it was never serious because I worked all the time. I thought he genuinely liked me as a person, not because of the firm I worked for. I should’ve seen the connection. He went to the Seattle Film Institute, and he thought I might have connections to movie directors or producers. People don’t understand that I don’t deal with the big clients one-on-one. I’m the one doing all the dirty work in the background. I’m not Stephanie. I don’t hang around with all those famous people every day, drinking champagne. That happens a lot at the main office in LA, but not often here. Yeah, I go to some cool parties, but that’s it. You can’t imagine what goes on in some of these lawsuits. I’ve given up on all humanity.”

  “Don’t give up yet.”

  I won’t when it comes to Sam.

  My stomach growls again just as the doorbell rings. Finally, I can eat. I’m not so sure I’ll want to when I go back to work tomorrow.

  Chapter 22

  Sam

  I’ve kept myself busy touring Seattle this weekend to see if I could picture myself living here. I go back to LA tomorrow. Even if this coaching job doesn’t work out in the long run, there might be other opportunities. The Seattle Sounders FC in Major League Soccer is based here too—maybe I could get in there as an assistant coach.

  The weather is different but not in a bad way. The rain is great—LA is too dry and warm. Of course, I might not say that after I’ve lived here for a few months. I also love that it’s near the ocean as well as mountains and forests. It’s a hell of a lot greener.

  This time on my own has helped clear my mind. I’ve concluded that I do need a change or a new start. I’ve been playing with LA Galaxy for several years. My shoulder will never get better, so I’m hardly ever on the field. What’s the point of being on a team if I can’t play? I’ll understand if they don’t renew my contract. They’re paying me a lot to sit on the bench.

  But even though I wanted to be alone this weekend, that doesn’t mean I didn’t look for Ellie. I prayed that I’d see her on the street or in a store. When I was up on the Space Needle, I wondered where she lived. I thought of her when I went into a grocery store for
a bottle of water and saw a crate of pomegranates. I’m curious if she really does love them? Does she also like sea turtles? Does she write? Is her mom blind?

  So it’s my last night in Seattle, and here I am, sitting on a bench near Ellie’s law firm. I have the front entrance in full view. I shouldn’t be here, but I have to see her one more time. If she doesn’t come out by 5:00, I’ll go in and ask for her.

  I readjust my baseball cap and pretend to read the paper. Fifty minutes later, I’m ready. It’s now or never.

  As I approach the entrance, a tall, blond guy is pacing back and forth by the side of the building, mumbling to himself. Ellie walks out the door, but she doesn’t notice me because she’s looking in her purse. She walks toward the weird guy. I follow her because something doesn’t feel safe. Suddenly the guy grabs her by the arm and pulls her to the side. She yelps and drops her phone and purse on the ground. I sprint toward them.

  “Cooper, are you crazy? What do you want from me?” she yells. “Let go of my arm. You’re hurting me.”

  “No. Not until we talk.” He pulls her further away from the street. She struggles to break free. A couple of people glance at them but keep walking.

  “Let me guess, you need some drug money. Leave me the hell alone or I’ll call the police.”

  I stand a few feet away and turn my baseball cap around. Her back is to me, but he can see me.

  “What the fuck do you want? This is none of your business,” he snaps at me.

  “Do as she said and walk away.” He reads the threat in my stance, and his lips twitch.

  Her head whips in my direction. He lets go of her, and she stumbles backward.

  “Sam, what are you doing here?” Wide-eyed, she looks at me then quickly back at the guy again. Carefully, she eases farther away from him.

  The guy balls his fists and stomps in front of her, then points to me. “This is Sam?” he shouts.

  I squeeze my body between them and gently push her farther behind me to get her away from him. “Yes, I’m Sam. What’s the fucking problem?” I look down at him. I force myself to stay calm, but I’m close to beating the shit out of him.